Silence and the Soldier
by satsuki kitsune
Summary: {3x1 yaoi angst} My take on when Trowa took care of Heero after he self-destructed. The Perfect Soldier must learn to live again and Nanashi must help him along the way.
1. Silence and the Soldier--- Chapter 1

Title: **Silence and the Soldier**  
Author: Satsuki Kitsune  
Category: yaoi  
Rating: PG-13… for now.  
Pairings: 3x1 (more later, I think.)  
Warnings: the usual…boys with boys… and perhaps I will get to a lemon later on.  
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing characters and universe are the property of the copyright owners. I don't make any money….  
Feedback: Any and all comments and feedback is welcome!!!!!!!!!  
Notes: hmmm…… this is my take on when Trowa took care of Heero after he self-destructed. And….. the fic!

Heero Yuy moaned in his sleep. Tonight his dreams were haunted by Odin Lowe, the Little Girl, and her puppy. They stared and pointed accusing fingers at him.

_' Stop! Go away! You're all dead!' _In the dream, Heero's voice was growing hoarse from screaming at them.

The Girl looked at him with haunted, empty blue eyes eyes. Her lip curled into a merciless smirk.

" Yes, I'm dead. I'm dead because you killed me. You killed me, Heero. You killed me……"

The pilot of Wing Gundam opened his eyes slowly with a gasp. He looked around, taking in his new, unfamiliar surroundings.

_' Just a dream….'_Then, his deep Prussian eyes widened as they saw the Peacecraft girl sitting in a chair, knitting.

The young woman turned around and saw that he was awake. But her face turned into a girl who he would soon know as Catherine. She had reddish-brown hair, which was kept short and curly, and eyes of a glassy blue that seemed friendly and full of care. 

" Oh, you're awake! I'll go get Trowa!" With that, she was gone in a flash.

_' Trowa……?'_

__Just then, the tall, deep green-eyed Heavyarms pilot walked in. He looked at Heero with a penetrating gaze, taking in the sight of him, a mess of cuts, bruises and bloody bandages.

Heero looked straight back, his emotionless eyes never wavering,

" Why did you save me? I-.." He stopped there, finding that it was fairly hard to talk and his voice was dry and cracked. He ignored the pain and said more, " I was supposed to die." 

Heero tried to sit up, but a look of extreme pain crossed his unguarded face and he fell back, breathing hard,

" What happened to me?"

Trowa, who hard been silent until now, regarded Heero carefully,

" Well, self-destructing is a good way to kill yourself. But in your case, you lived through it. You have a compound fracture in your left arm, had a piece of shrapnel in your leg, and major cuts and bruises all over your chest and legs. It's a miracle you're still alive," he told him. And Heero said nothing.

" Ever since that battle, there have been no other battles or threats to the colonies. And I wonder, should I go ahead and kill you, then follow your example…." Trowa continued.

Heero took a deep breath, " Well, I'll tell you one thing: Dying hurts like hell." Trowa's face slowly broke into a smile and he laughed aloud. And Catherine spoke from the small kitchen in the trailer,

" Hey, I think that's the first time I've ever heard Trowa laugh!" she exclaimed while making some soup.

" Will you tell me what happened while I was lying here unconscious?" Heero asked. And Trowa nodded,

" Sure thing."

As he began to talk, images from the night when he had brought Heero here came to Trowa's head……

_* flashback*_

Trowa hopped out of Heavyarm's cockpit and hurriedly climbed over to where the Wing pilot laid in the mech's hand. Ignoring the blood dripping all over the gundam's hand, Trowa pulled the battered and broken Heero out. And, carrying him carefully, Trowa jumped down from the suit with Heero in his arms.

__Trowa ran quickly to his and Catherine's trailer and banged heavily on the door.

Catherine opened it with a gasp,

" Trowa!!" Then she saw Heero…. " My god…Trowa, bring him in!"

The Heavyarms pilot laid Heero down on the counter and Catherine appeared with a med kit and bandages. She didn't bother to ask questions, because she knew Trowa was far too secretive about his life. Cathy stripped Heero of his ruined and bloody shirt and began dressing his wounds.

" God, he's bleeding everywhere…." She whispered.

Cathy looked at Heero's left arm, which was bent in an unnatural way. The skin looked pale and greenish, with a piece of bone sticking out of it.

" He needs to go to the hospital, or he'll die," she told Trowa. " He's bleeding too badly."

Thoughts raced through Trowa's head….. _How could he face Heero if he woke up in a hospital?? But even so, how could he let the Perfect Soldier die?_

_ _

__TBC…..

Author's Notes: Hi! This is actually my first fic to post up here… and I am SOO glad to get the first part done! Whew! Hope ya liked it, and there's more to come… plus some shounen ai!! 


	2. Silence and the Soldier--- Chapter 2

Title: Silence and the Soldier

Title: **Silence and the Soldier**  
Author: Satsuki Kitsune  
Category: yaoi  
Rating: PG-13… for now.  
Pairings: 3x1 (more later, I think.)  
Warnings: the usual…boys with boys… and perhaps I will get to a lemon later on.  
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing characters and universe are the property of the copyright owners. Plus whatever is mine, is mine (which is little or nothing).I don't make any money….  
Feedback: Any and all comments and feedback is welcome!!!!!!!!! Please!!  
Notes: Well, I got the first part up, and people liked it! I was so happy!! In this part, I get to have fun torturing Heero…. Heh… AND!! I am hurrying!!! I'm typing as fast as I can!!! 

Many thanks to my review-ers: **Silver **( I'm so glad you like it!! ^_^ ); **Sana** (arigato!); **Wildfire's Flame** (you like Ronin Warriors, too? It was my 'first' anime…); **sm00thy31 **(yeah, besides Duo and Heero, I like Trowa and Heero together.. ^_^..); and **WildfireFriendship **( I promise it will be longer… and yeah, I like Heero as the uke too… tee-hee…) …… And I'm sorry if I forgot anybody! 

…How could he face Heero if he woke up in a hospital? But even so, how could he let the Perfect Soldier die?

" Catherine, I can't take him to the hospital. Can't you just get the circus medic?" Trowa said. There, he had made the decision. Catherine sighed,

" I guess." And she ran out side to get the medic.

Trowa gazed at the machine-like beauty of Heero. Messy dark brown hair stuck out in all directions like a messy crown. His chest and arms were lean and finely muscled, but the bronze and healthy glow to his skin had gone. Then, Heero's eyes opened, cloudy because he was not yet fully conscious. The dark prussian eyes were full of masked pain, both physical and emotional. The eyes closed again.

The door burst open and Catherine ran in, closely followed by the medic. He was a tall, middle-aged man with brown hair and blue eyes behind glasses. The man's hand flew to his shocked mouth as he surveyed the scene,

" What the hell did this?"

When Trowa refused to say anything, Catherine turned to the medic,

" Please, no questions. If you don't help him now, he'll die!" The man's frown lessened and he looked at Heero. Taking a breath of air with a gulp, he examined Heero's left arm. He turned to Catherine and Trowa,

" I'll have to set this, and it ain't gonna be pretty," he warned them. Then turning to Heero, he spoke to the pilot's subconscious,

" This is going to hurt…."

With a loud crack, the medic snapped Heero's bone back together expertly. And Heero arched off the table with a hoarse, muffled scream of pain. Cathy went to his head and stroked his soft hair,

" Shhh… Everything's going to be okay, just hold on," she whispered to him.

Trowa watched the scene, feeling an unknown feeling in his heart. It was slightly wrenching, but on the other hand, soft and caressing.

'_Its so hard for me to watch him scream like that…why?'_

__The medic then set the arm in a tight splint and followed a large pool of blood to Heero's leg. He looked closer into the wound and saw something.

" There's a piece of shrapnel in there. I'll have to dig it out." Trowa nodded silently.

Taking out a tool, the medic used it in Heero's leg, digging slightly. With that, Heero's already harsh breathing hitched in his throat and he involuntarily banged his head on the table, eyes squeezing shut as he gritted his teeth with a moan. Finally, the medic produced a fairly large piece of shrapnel from Heero's leg. Heero let out a huge sigh and relaxed, his mind slipping into something more that unconsciousness, but short of oblivion.

" Is he dead?" Cathy asked cautiously. The medic took Heero's pulse and frowned,

" No, he's not dead, he just went into a coma. I should have guessed that it would happen, because if I had just done that to another person, they'd be dead. I have a feeling that this young man is unlike normal, average people. He must have undergone a lot of training to be able to withstand this," he said. The man bandaged the last of Heero's gashes and bruised, then packed up his medical bag. He turned to Trowa and Catherine for a few last words,

" When he wakes up, don't let him use that arm for a while. Without a cast, you'll have to be extra careful."

_*end flashback*_

_ _

Heero's eyes drooped. After Trowa had told him about the situation with OZ, he found that he was actually tired for once. And Trowa saw it.

" Why don't' you get some rest?" Trowa asked quietly.

Heero's eyes snapped open, and he shook his head stubbornly. But though he tried, he just couldn't keep himself awake.

A strange feeling came over Trowa as he looked at Heero, who had the appearance of a broken toy soldier, the perfection gone. He then moved onto the bed carefully, as not to wake Heero, and gathered Heero into him arms gently. Rocking slightly, Trowa started to hum a lullaby that his mother had sung him so very long ago…….

_Sleep now, my soldier,_

_The day is done._

_Your fight is over,_

_The battle has been won._

_ _

__

__Heero woke with a gasp sometime later, sitting painfully upright. Trowa was gone and there were screams of fire and the smell of sulfur outside. There was a battle. His instincts never lied.

'_Trowa…'_

Slowly but surely, Heero lowered his legs to the floor. Then, he grabbed the headboard and stood up with a wince. He wobbled slightly, but eventually limped to the door. Heero opened it with his good arm, and then limped out the door. _Never had he felt so weak._

_ _

" TROWA!! Don't do it!!" A young woman, Catherine, climbed up to Heavyarms's cockpit. Trowa, after the surprise on the OZ soldiers at the Circus, had tried to self-destruct. She looked at Trowa angrily, and slapped him as hard as she could.

" Don't you realize that people care about you??!! Did you even stop to think about the people you would leave behind??!!" Now tears ran down Catherine's face as Trowa sat there in silence, stunned by both her words and by the slap.

A while later, Trowa sat in the grove where he hid his gundam, thinking. He heard a sound behind him and jumped up, having his gun ready for any intruder. But the gun soon lowered and his eyes widened as he saw Heero there, looking exhausted.

" Heero! What are you doing here?!" Trowa yelled at him, standing up and going to his side.

" I heard mobile suits," Heero said in an emotionless tone, the best he could manage. Still, his legs wobbled unsteadily, threatening to dump his weak body on the ground. With a sigh, Trowa hooked his arm under Heero's to steady him,

" Don't worry about it."

Heero looked up at Trowa, suddenly captured in the depths of deep green. His heartbeat grew faster with something he'd never felt before, a nice and alien felling. Trowa's eyes locked onto Heero's, suddenly feeling as if his whole body had melted. He lowered his face closer to Heero's…..

The mask of the Perfect Soldier snapped quickly into place, and Heero tore away from the gaze and grasp. He swallowed hard and tried to stop his hands form shaking. _Why were they shaking anyways? _Confused and uncertain, Heero took off at a stumbling run. Trowa started after him,

" Heero, wait!!"

His breath came in short gasps as he ran. With each step there came pain.

_' I've never felt that way before…what happened?……What's wrong with me??!!'_

__Heero's vision blurred as his legs gave out under him. He fell with an audible thud, not bothering to try to get up or even fight for consciousness. The last thing he felt was warm, strong arms carrying him before the blackness came to claim him.

Author's Note: hey minna!! Here's another chapter!! I've been typing all morning for you guys….oh well. Its only summer. I've got tons of time. Anyways…. I'll hurry up on the next chapter too….and get a bit more into the 'yaoi' part of the story….heh….. ja! 


	3. Silence and the Soldier--- Chapter 3

Title: Silence and the Soldier

Title: **Silence and the Soldier**  
Author: Satsuki Kitsune   
Category: yaoi  
Rating: PG-13… for now.   
Pairings: 3x1 (more later, I think.)  
Warnings: the usual…boys with boys… and perhaps I will get to a lemon later on, if I get up my courage…… well… now that I think about it… I don't REALLY want to do one… Relations to Heero's and Trowa's Episode Zero.  
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing characters and universe are the property of the copyright owners. Plus whatever is mine, is mine (which is little or nothing). I don't make any money….  
Feedback: Any and all comments and feedback is welcome!!!!!!!!! Please!!  
Notes: Hmmm……… EPISODE ZERO !!! hee! They are just too cute….

Thank you to the people that reviewed the 2nd chapter:**Wildfire's Flame **( I did sign your guestbook! Hee-hee…well… Silence and the Soldier did sound good at the time I was posting it…thanks!); **WildfireFriendship** (you definitely have the most enthusiastic reviews…but I thank you for them greatly); **Anime Princess** (yeah, yeah…they ALMOST kissed… maybe they will in this chapter, ne? *evil grin * ………); **Xan Samurai **(you like? Tee-hee… I am really glad you do.); **sana **(yeah, sometimes I complain about being "left hanging"… sometimes I can be really whiny…); **lizzy b** (thanks for your criticism…it is appreciated… Humor?? You want humor?? Uhh… I'll try later, but after I get over with the serious stuff, okay? It IS hard with characters like these…) And I apologize to anyone if I missed you.

Trowa waited while Heero slept. He waited for the other pilot to wake up so maybe he could gather up enough courage to tell Heero the truth….The truth about his true feelings- …His thoughts were interrupted by a groan from Heero on the bed. Heero opened his eyes, only to find that Trowa was looking at him. Wrenching his eyes away from the deep gaze, he spoke to the tall, green-eyed pilot,

" You must think me as weak….cold-hearted….a disgu-" he started. Heero stopped and turned rigid when he felt Trowa's hand on hi cheek.

" No. Not at all, Heero." Trowa's words hit Heero like a tsunami. " In fact, you're the most amazing person I've ever met." His eyes were soft with emotion as he caressed Heero's cheek. On what little human emotion he had, Heero closed his eyes and leaned into the caress, suddenly desperately in need of human touch. It was his first, in such a long time…..

" Why me? Of all people, why me? Why someone who isn't sure that he is able to love?" Heero murmured. He curled up till his head was tucked under the taller pilot's chin. It was a good feeling, to be warm and safe.

Trowa kissed the top of Heero's head and chuckled,

" Because you're you. I have no other explanation."

The strange fluttering sensation occupied itself in Heero's chest once again. He reached up his hand to touch Trowa's face, but winced and drew back. Pain lanced all around his broken, and still-healing, arm.

" Are you okay? What's wrong? Maybe you should rest some more….."

Heero was clearly not all right. He drew his breaths in with a painful hiss and was doubled over, clutching his arm. Trowa moved forward to help him.

" No. Stop. Don't help me." Heero's voice was firm and commanding, but full of pain as well. Ever since his self-destruction, Heero had been struggling to regain his self-control, but had been failing miserably. He was unable to hide his emotions as well as he could before. " Trowa, this is the first time that I can remember that someone has told me that they cared for me and I don't need to be treated like an invalid."

Trowa considered this and refrained from helping him, honoring Heero's decision and strength.

" If that's what you want."

" Hn." With a grunt, Heero lowered himself back down on the bed and pulled the covers up around him. He forced his breathing to slow down, then opened his mouth to speak,

" I-I know that I'm not the best person to be around… but will you please understand that this is all new to me?" Trowa smiled. It was warm and comforting.

" I understand."

" Thank you. I'll try to–" Heero was interrupted as the door opened.

" Trowa? The Manager wants to see you about the show tonight, and when we're moving next." It was Catherine. 

'_ A show? Tonight? How could I have forgotten…? But I can't leave Heero here alone… His condition has gotten worse…' _Trowa thought, but kept his face completely calm. Although his face showed nothing, Heero could sense it. Heero gave Trowa a look that simply said,

' _Go.'_

" Trowa, on this next show, we're just going to be entertaining a bunch of people from this colony, nothing fancy. You're going to be doing the usual, so I don't need to explain that." The Manager, a man in a suit, complete with a hat and tie confirmed his role as the ringmaster. The two had met in the Manager's trailer.

" Yes, Sir," said Trowa, and he turned to leave.

" One more thing, Trowa: We're going to be taking a shuttle back to Earth after this, so be prepared to leave. I told Catherine to spread the word," the Manager said. Trowa nodded and left.

'_ A shuttle back to Earth? I'll have to be careful with Heero…'_

_ _

_ _

__" Heero, are you alright? Do you need anything?" Now, it was Catherine who sat by Heero's bed. She noticed how the boy's hand shook while he held his spoon, eating soup.

" I'm fine," Heero mumbled, in-between bites. He was getting tired of girls always hanging around. First the Peacecraft girl, now Catherine. He knew they meant well, but it just got annoying. _Where's my gun…?_

' _Wait, where am I? I thought I was in Trowa's trailer…' Heero looked around, seeing that he was in a graveyard. His eyes widened as he saw the familiar build of a man walking towards him through the mist._

_' O-Odin? _

Catherine saw that Heero had fallen asleep. Frowning, she took away his food and felt his forehead. 

_'Just great. A fever,' _she thought. ' _I'd better stay here until Trowa comes back.' _She sighed and got out a book.

_' I guess all those years with you weren't so bad, boy.'_

_'Whatcha looking at? The void of space…which took everything away from you? Or…your own image, a face without a name…?' _In Heero's dream, Odin Lowe's words came back to him just like Odin himself had said them for the first time.

" Stop talking to me, Odin. You're dead. You died a long time ago."

' _Here's one last bit of good advice. No matter what happens, follow your feelings. So, you may as well do what your heart tells you, so you won't regret it later. That's the right path…for people who live in the present._

__Heero felt a pain in his chest as he struggled to control the urge to break down and cry.

' _Okay…this is good-bye. Don't get killed.'_

" I didn't get killed, Odin. I did exactly what you said…. I always did exactly what you said… don't leave again…please." 

The man known as Odin Lowe walked up to Heero and looked him over,

_' Hmmm…. I always knew you were gonna grow up to be like this. Now look at you, a Gundam Pilot. Dr. J sure did a good job on you, better than I could have.'_

__Heero glared at the dead man and clenched his fists,

" A good job? Is that all I am? A machine that people use in wars? You have no idea what I went through, and what Dr. J did to me! Sure I'm good for wars, but what will happen when we achieve peace? What then?!" he shouted. Odin's allowed his face to show a little sympathy, but said nothing.

" What will I do?!!" Then Odin disappeared. The Wing pilot sank to the ground, all alone now.

" What will I do…..?" Catherine's eyebrows furrowed in a frown. Heero had been mumbling, but now she could make out what he was saying. She dunked the washcloth that she had put over his forehead into the bowl of cold water again. Trowa still was not back, and Heero's fever had rose. But she knew that there was something special about this boy, so she didn't worry about his sickness too much. His body was just weak from his injuries, that's all.

Trowa needed time to think and be alone. He sat by the lion's cage, stroking the fur while the lion purred loudly.

' _What will happen when Heero gets better? Will there be more fights with OZ? I don't know…' _

_**' I have always been a soldier.' **_A voice whispered. It was the voice of a young boy.**__**

**__**" Who's there?" Trowa asked aloud. The lion roared suddenly.

**_' I used up all my sadness when I was a baby.'_**

Realization came upon Trowa…. 

" I said those words to Midii, so long ago."

Just then, the young girl Midii herself walked out of the trees towards him. She held an outstretched hand towards him,

" Nanashi… It really has been a long time."

" M-Midii..?? Is that really you?" Trowa stuttered. He then saw that the girl's image was almost see-through: An image of his past.

" Yes. I said this once, and I'll say it again: How long do you plan to wear that mask that never cries? Come on, at least show some emotion towards the one you love!" A look of sadness crossed her face….but she shook it off quickly, for what she had wanted once was impossible.

" I-" Trowa started.

"- You what? Why aren't you with him now? He's sick and hurting and you aren't with him. You choose to be alone, ne?" Midii was getting angry at him, trying to get Trowa to understand.

" He _loves_ you, Nanashi. And he's trying to understand!" Her words stopped as her image faded some.

" My time is up. Farewell, Nanashi. Please understand what I'm telling you. The Perfect Soldier has done something that has been thought impossible…. He has fallen in love with Nanashi….."

And Midii disappeared, leaving Trowa once again alone. Trowa got up and ran to the trailer.

TBC.

Author's notes: Hi! I just love Trowa and Heero's episode Zeros…they're so cute. If you haven't read them yet, you can find them at: [http://www.stormpages.com/zero/translate/index.html][1] I think almost everyone's is there!

Well, hope ya liked that chapter. And I'm sorry if it was too short for you.

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   [1]: http://www.stormpages.com/zero/translate/index.html



	4. Silence and the Soldier--- Chapter 4

Title: Silence and the Soldier

Title: **Silence and the Soldier**  
Author: Satsuki Kitsune   
Category: yaoi  
Rating: PG-13… for now.   
Pairings: 3x1 (more later, I think.)  
Warnings: the usual…boys with boys… and perhaps I will get to a lemon later on, if I get up my courage…… well… now that I think about it… I don't REALLY want to do one…   
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing characters and universe are the property of the copyright owners. Plus whatever is mine, is mine (which is little or nothing). I don't make any money….  
Feedback: Any and all comments and feedback is welcome!!!!!!!!! Please!!  
Notes: ooo-kay. I've been gone for a week, but that doesn't mean that I didn't write! Here's the next chapter!

Thanks to: **WildfireFriendship** (Thanks so much * smiles *.. and sorry about the mix-up! ^_^;…); **Wildfire's Flame** (You're welcome about the guestbook, and thanks for putting my fic on your site!);** Nataku's Child **(yeah, I know!! I just loved that part of the series, and once I got thinking, I had a fic to write!); **Anime Princess **(I am beginning to like the ghosts a lot too, even though Odin is mean in this chapter…he's doing it for a reason, tho); **Xan Samurai **( *bows * hmm. Why thank you! I added more since you read it this afternoon….); **Lizzy b** (I'm glad you think so. I thought that Trowa and Heero were better together anyways) And that's it, I believe!

_ _

_' I understand, Midii.' _Trowa approached the trailer and opened the door.

_' Heero……' _

" Trowa! You're back!" His sister's cheerful voice greeted him almost immediately. He looked and saw that she was looking in a closet for something. Trowa gave her a nod of acknowledgement.

" Where's Heero?"

Catherine then produced a warm blanket from the closet,

" Oh, he's in the other room, sleeping. I was just getting him another blanket, but his fever seems to have broken. I was just making him more comfortable," she told him, turning to head back into the room. Trowa followed.

_' Fever…so that's what Midii meant.'_

" Uh, Heero?? Where are you?" Catherine called softly. The Japanese pilot was nowhere to be seen. It was almost like he'd never been there. The bed was neatly made with militaristic precision, with the extra blankets folded at the foot. Also, all remains of the med-kit and bloody bandages had been put up and stored or thrown away. The only thing was a piece of paper on the pillow. Picking it up, Catherine read it aloud,

" _Sorry for the trouble, and thank you for taking care of me. – H.Y"_

Trowa was shocked to the core. The note was so simple and efficient, much like the old Heero, _before_ the accident. Since when had _his _Heero made the transition back to the Perfect Soldier?

" I don't understand, Trowa…. Why did he feel the need to just _leave_ like that?" Catherine asked, staring at the note once more. Remembering Midii's words once again, Trowa spoke,

" I…. Well, Catherine, did he say anything before you went to get him a blanket?" he asked, trying to at least get some answers. Catherine sighed.

" Well, he _was _talking in his sleep. Talking about this "Odin" person, and some stuff about the war," the girl answered, frowning slightly.

Suddenly, there was a gust of air, something that shouldn't be in a trailer, except when a window was open.

'_ Wait…a window open? I guess Heero has some flaws…' _Trowa thought. In his mind, Midii appeared then. She pointed to the window.

_" Go. Follow him, he's not that far ahead. Go on." She prompted in soft tones._

" I'll be right back, Catherine. I'm going to go find him." With that, Trowa ran out of there, and into the streets of the colony.

" Wait!! Trowa!! The show!! You can't miss it!!" Catherine cried after him. But Trowa was long gone.

" Where are you taking me??" came a ragged voice. The Wing pilot himself staggered out from an alley. His eyes were unfocused and wide as he looked at something that wasn't there. That something was a ghost….. a ghost of a man: Odin Lowe to be exact.

"_ Keep on moving_," Odin's voice ordered. Heero's eyes darkened in anger, and he refused to move.

" No. Not until you tell me where you're taking me," he proclaimed. Odin's face showed anger and his fist clenched. He used his willpower not to hit the young pilot.

" _Silence, boy! You question my orders?! Since when have you become so weak?_" he shouted angrily. Heero flinched as if he'd been struck, and stared at the ground, trembling slightly. He bowed his head,

" Sorry, Sir."

" _Much better, boy. There may be hope for you yet_." Odin's face calmed as they continued walking.

" Stop calling me "boy"." Heero stumbled along behind Odin, feeling light-headed.

" _Then what should I call you? You have no real name_," Odin replied. " _Heero Yuy is just a code name used for the war. Dr. J just thought that one off the top of his head, didn't he? Makes you feel real special, right?" _He continued with a smirk. 

Heero was silent.

" _Looks like we're here," _Odin said finally.

Heero's vision blurred as he looked at the sight before him. He felt dizzy and he swayed on his feet.

' _I'm loosing consciousness…I should have gotten……some……more………………rest……'_ His eyes closed as he fell face down in the ground of a _graveyard_. And Odin's ghost disappeared, feeling that his job was done. All he had to do was sit back and watch the cards play.

' _C'mon Heero…Where could you have gone? You couldn't have gone too far.' _Trowa quickly jogged through the streets, looking everywhere for the Wing pilot.

_' You shouldn't have left. Why did you? You're not strong enough. At least, not yet."_

He took a turn and stared as a hearse rolled by. It was completely black and rolled slowly down the street. But what really creeped him out was that Midii was sitting and riding on the top of it. She smiled an odd smile and beckoned for him to follow her. Shaking away his surprise, Trowa started running after the strange girl.

_" Hurry up, Nanashi……"_ she called. Then, to his amazement, she giggled. "_Hurry up! We're going to a graveyard!'_ With a confused nod of acknowledgement, Nanashi followed the girl from the past.

Trowa pushed the wrought-iron gate open with a loud, ominous creak. Deep green eyes looked around cautiously as he took a few step in the dark, silent graveyard.

"_ What are you waiting for? Go find him." _Sure enough, Midii was right behind him. She gave him a smile, then disappeared.

' _Okay…it shouldn't be too hard to find him, if what Midii said is true.'_ He resumed walking.

There were so many graves…..almost as many as the countless lives lost in the endless war. Trowa frowned as he looked upon one grave. There was the usual mound of raised dirt, showing that it had just been buried, but what startled him was the statue upon the gravestone. It was of an angel, with its wings and arms spread open to the heavens, and Trowa shuddered when he saw its face. The face was of loneliness and longing, with the eyes staring lifelessly and impassive.

' _Creepy.'_ The Heavyarms pilot thought and looked onward, trying to put the statue's face behind him. 

The next one was a simple tablet, but he read the inscription anyways: _In memory of the Field Marshall Noventa, a martyr for the sake of peace-_

_' -No. This can't be…This is the man Heero accidentally killed by OZ's trickery in the last battle before he self-destructed…Why is his marker here? Where is Heero?' _Thoroughly shaken, Trowa started looking much harder for Heero. He literally had a heart attack when he saw a pale, clammy hand on the ground from behind Marshall Noventa's tablet. Trowa took a deep breath before advancing to find out whose hand that was.

' _Heero!!!!' _His mind cried out, for he found that his own mouth could not. Kneeling down by Heero, he took the pale, dead-looking boy's pulse, and found that he was alive. The taller pilot let out a sigh of relief and shook Heero, trying to rouse him.

' _Wake up, baka. Why did you run away like that?' _Trowa thought.

Heero let out a moan and he stirred. It was a minute before he actually opened his eyes. They were hazy at first, but soon cleared in surprise as he sat up sharply and looked at his surroundings, and the person before him.

' _Trowa……? Why?_' But before he could open his mouth, Trowa spoke to him. His tone was even and calm, but felt exactly the opposite on the outside,

" Why did you leave? Why did you go here? You're not well enough."

" Odin made me." Was all Heero said before his eyes wandered to the tablet he was lying next to. Those Prussian eyes widened in shock as they read the simple words many times, carving a visual scar across it. Heero let out a choked cry as he threw himself at the stone, pressing against it.

_' I killed pacifists. This man was one of them… That's why Odin brought me here. So I must atone for my acts… by offering my life.'_

TBC…

_ _

Author's note: heh. I'm glad to get that one done. I believe it's the longest so far, yay! Stay tuned for part 5, when Trowa decides to help Heero on his quest to find the remaining members of the Noventa family. (note: I'm tying in with the series….tee-hee….)


	5. Silence and the Soldier--- Chapter 5

Title: Silence and the Soldier

Title: **Silence and the Soldier**  
Author: Satsuki Kitsune   
Category: yaoi  
Rating: PG-13… for now.   
Pairings: 3x1 (more later, I think.)  
Warnings: the usual…boys with boys…..

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing characters and universe are the property of the copyright owners. Plus whatever is mine, is mine (which is little or nothing). I don't make any money….  
Feedback: Any and all comments and feedback is welcome!!!!!!!!! Please!!  
Notes: Ack!! Sorry I've been gone so long!!! Please forgive me…I've been such a slacker with writer's block….and finally….Part Five!!!

Thanks to: **Danielle** (me too! *sighs* Whenever I do finish it.. I hope the ending is good….I'm not so good at endings and beginnings… *sweatdrop*); **Xan Samurai** ( Well, thanks to you, and say thanks to Cassie for me ^_^); **lizzy b** ( Trowa angst? ….You got it!! *winks* but if there's not enough in this chapter for ya, there'll be more to come..); **Wildfire's Flame** ( *bows* Thanks ever so much!); and **WildfireFriendship** ( I'm very sorry about mixing you up last time… but I'm glad you liked it!)

Thanks all you guys for your reviews!!!! Yay!!!

And now… The Fic!!!

_' I killed pacifists. This man was one of them… That's why Odin brought me here. So I must atone for my acts… by offering my life.'_

Heero turned from the grave marker to Trowa and looked at him,

" Can you take me back?" he asked softly. Using to marker to pull himself up, Heero forced his weak legs, trembling with fatigue, to stand. Trowa nodded and moved to help Heero walk.

Somewhere along the way the smaller pilot fell asleep, slumping against Trowa, who was holding him up. Shifting Heero's body so that he could carry him, Trowa picked him up. He looked down at the sleeping pilot's face. Sometimes he thought that there wasn't another in the whole universe that could compare to the beautiful assassin in his arms. And then, when Heero was awake, there wasn't anyone who could hold a candle to his abilities in the battlefield. 

' _Heero… what's the matter with you? What happened in the graveyard when I wasn't there…?' _There was the sound of a girl giggling before Midii appeared. She smiled brightly at him,

" _Good job, Nanashi! You rescued your Perfect Soldier!!"_

__" Yeah? And what do I do now? Why do you always follow me around? Aren't you supposed to be in heaven or something?" Trowa asked in a low voice, and did not cease walking.

Midii looked hurt. Her transparent hand rubbed her eyes, filled with tears threatening to fall.

" _I follow you because… because I care about you. I don't want you to be the expressionless clown that never smiled anymore. Its just not a life you should lead." _Trowa looked mildly surprised.

" Well, I'm sorry, but until this war is over, I have no need for emotions. Heero believes that as much as I do."

" _I…I…I guess that you're right…but after the war, what then? You won't have to fight anymore!" _she argued. Trowa looked down at Heero,

" I don't know. I'll just live in the present for now, I guess. The future and past can wait."

Midii's image faded slightly and she bit her lip,

_" But Nanashi, I am in your past…. I was granted my request to come down here to help you! Do you want to send me back to Purgatory until this wretched war is over??!!!" _Before Trowa could answer, a tear rolled down the girl's face and she disappeared. 

' _I'm sorry…'_ Trowa sped up his pace and walked faster to the circus site.

" Trowa! Where have you been??!! Our act is up in ten minutes! You'd better get ready!" Catherine ran out from the trailer, fully dressed in her outfit, done in the colors blue and green, which brought out her eyes.

" I know." Trowa stepped in their moveable home, put down Heero on the couch, and got dressed quickly. He picked up Heero again and brought him backstage. 

The lions looked at Trowa inquisitively as he placed Heero down on a haystack with a blanket near them. He reached down and scratched the head of a lion,

" Take good care of him," he whispered, and walked off.

" Ladies and Gentlemen! Now, the act that you all have been waiting for!! Watch our very own mistress of the knives, Catherine Bloom…." A spotlight shone on Catherine, the only light on the stage. "……throw knives at her one and only brother, Trowa!" The lights now illuminated the whole stage, revealing Trowa, strapped upright to a circular board. He wore his mask, but the other side of his face was expressionless.

" And there's more, Folks!….. She will do it…blindfolded!" The crowd let out a deafening sound of applause. A circus hand dressed as a silly clown moved to blindfold Catherine, who held six deadly throwing knives.

Trowa closed his eyes and let the cheer of the crowd melt into a low roar in his mind.

' _Sometimes I wish Catherine would miss and kill me… it would be so easy……-No! I can't think that! I have Heero to live for and take care of!" _He shook off these thoughts and turned his attention to the thunk of a knife near his head.

" Heh-heh… What do we have here?" A puff of smoke came from a man standing in front of Heero, who was still sleeping. The intruder looked like he hadn't bathed nor shaved in days and wore a dirty white shirt and jeans. He stepped on a fallen cigarette butt, crushing the fire and heat left in it. 

" Kid, wake up…." Heero moaned and moved in his sleep when he heard a harsh voice in his ear. The man looked at Heero, who was dressed in baggy, comfortable clothes, consisting of black jeans, a green t-shirt and a navy sweatshirt. His clothes were loose, but nevertheless could not hide his slim, muscular figure.

The beady, black eyes of the man caught sight of a bandage of Heero's still-healing arm beneath the rolled up left sleeve of his sweater. 

" Injured, huh? Then what are you doing around here?"

At that, Heero slowly opened his eyes, blurry at first. But they soon widened at the sight of a man crouched near him. 

' _What..? How'd I get here…..? Who is that man..?' _He backed away slowly,

" W-Who are you? Get away from me…" he snarled. The man smirked,

" You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen, boy."

Heero instantly curled his fists to fight, but let out a gasp of pain as the pain lanced up and down his left arm. He shook his head of the feeling and stood up shakily with only one arm to protect himself.

" Did you think that I would not notice that? Give it up, kid. You're weak."

Suddenly the man advanced on him and grabbed Heero's arm, pulling him closer. The lions let out a loud roar of protest and tried to break free of the cage. They remembered what Trowa had asked of them.

" What the…." The intruder cursed, startled by the lions as the beasts strained against their cages. One lion, obviously the leader, clamped his jaws around one bad and wrenched as hard as he could, bending the bar. The others followed suit.

The leader jumped out and advanced towards the man slowly, growling loudly.

" Uh…n-nice kitty….you…" He stuttered. He looked at Heero, struggling wildly against him, and ran a finger down the soft skin of his face before letting go and running away as fast as he could.

Heero stared with wide eyes as the huge lion approached him still. When the beast had reached him, Heero went numb with shock as the lion rubbed against him with a purr.

" ……. And there you have it, Ladies and Gentlemen!! Give them a round of applause!"

Trowa was let down and Catherine was un-blindfolded. The two walked up to each other and bowed as the crowd applauded. They could still hear the audience as they walked offstage.

" Good job, Trowa. I can never understand how you can just stay there and not flinch or anything," Catherine complimented once they were backstage.

" Thanks." Trowa walked away to where he had left Heero.

' _Huh?? Where'd he go?? I'll never forgive myself if anything happened to…' _He trailed off in his thoughts as he spotted Heero.

The Wing pilot was in the lion's cage, sleeping with a content look on his face huddled against the leader. Trowa gave a small smile.

TBC…

Author's Note: hmm… what'd you guys think?? Was it good or not?? Well, that's it for now, 'cause I have to go work on my other, poor neglected story…. Thanks for reading!


	6. Silence and the Soldier --- Chapter 6

Title: Silence and the Soldier Valued Gateway Client Normal Valued Gateway Client 4 935 2001-10-28T17:38:00Z 2001-10-28T17:38:00Z 2001-10-29T02:58:00Z 5 2169 12364 103 24 15183 9.3821 

Title: **Silence and the Soldier**  
Author: Satsuki Kitsune   
Category: yaoi  
Rating: PG-13… for now.   
Pairings: 3+1 (more later, I think.)  
Warnings: the usual… boys with boys…. if you have a problem with that, don't read.

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing characters and universe are the property of the copyright owners. Plus whatever is mine, is mine (which is little or nothing). I don't make any money….  
Feedback: Any and all comments and feedback is welcome!!!!!!!!! Please!!  
Notes: Hmm… now I'm going back to more of the series' plot… as Trowa and Heero track down the Noventas! Also, don't forget to read **"I Am"**, cause that's the prequel to this ficcie!!!

Thanks to: **Katty** (Yup! I knew that as soon as I read Trowa's ep. Zero that I had to have Midii play a part in my fic! ); **Citlaminna** (*dances around* hee-hee!!! I have done it! I have made an incredible angsty fic into a cute one!! ); **Anime Princess** (*winces* I don't know about the ASAP part… because I've been a very lazy writer… Sorry to keep you waiting…); **lizzy b** (*snorts* Dr. Doolitle complex??!! Oh god…); **angelhereal** (More cuteness!!! But now, I get to go into the actual PLOT of the story… heh… and yes, it DOES have one.); **Wildfire's Flame** (ahh yess… the "evil man"… *laughs insanely* what shall I do about him…. Heheheh…); **Nataku's Child** (*sighs* everyone has to feel sorry for poor Midii… but I have a good ending for her in store…); **grinsandgigglez **(3x1… I don't see many of those, so I decided to actually write one. Go me!!); **Katie** (*bows* Yes, I do believe that the lion part was a pure and random *winks* stroke of genius… *giggles* Thanks for your review!); and **Xan Samurai** (Well, I read enough cliffhangers elsewhere, so I spend all my day trying to figure which bad place to leave off next… EXCEPT NOT… Thanks for the review… and sorry for… everything…)

          Yeah, yeah, I know… you're saying "GET ON WITH THE FIC ALREADY, SATSUKI!!!!" heheh…

The Wing pilot was in the lion's cage, sleeping with a content look on his face huddled against the leader. Trowa gave a small smile. He walked over and tapped Heero on the shoulder softly.

"Heero… Wake up… The show's over, time to go." Upon reflex, the Prussian-eyed boy jerked and sat up abruptly, breathing hard

"What? Where am I?" He asked groggily, forcing his weary body awake.

"You fell asleep in the lion's cage. They must like you, or else you would be ripped to shreds by now," Trowa responded coolly, helping Heero stand. "Come on… I have hurry and help Catherine pack up the trailer. We're leaving for Earth."

The news jolted Heero back into reality. _Earth?_ Reality was where he wandered this world as a soulless spectre with a useless and wounded body, with Trowa at his side. Trowa… The pilot of Heavyarms had always been there at his side, searching when he was lost, healing when he was sick, and strong when he had collapsed. 

'_What will he mean to me in this war? I care… about him… But what will he mean when I take the risk of death in battle?' _Heero thought. Trowa hooked one strong arm around him and helped the weaker boy to stand and walk towards the trailer. 

"Trowa?"

"Yes?" 

"Can I borrow your computer?"

"Sure," Trowa replied, no questions asked. They both knew that each had their own secrets and didn't dare to press into them. "But Catherine will probably try to make you get some rest…" 

Disgust immediately appeared on Heero's face,

"I'd like to see her try…" he growled. Trowa said nothing, shaking his head with a slight look of amusement. That all faded when his hand brushed up upon Heero's still healing arm, and came back with blood. Heero let out a small, choked sound of pain and refused to look up at Trowa. They were already at the trailer, so the green-eyed pilot quickly ushered Heero inside and motioned for him to sit on the bed.

"What…?" Trowa trailed off softly, unwrapping the dirty, blood stained bandage. The broken skin from Heero's broken arm stared red and bleeding at him. In a flash, he administered antiseptic and began to slowly and gently wrap another clean bandage upon it.

Heero at the time had allowed the emotion of pain creep by his barriers. He winced at the slightest touch of even Trowa's light fingers when they worked nimbly on his arm. The only sound in the room was the sound of Heero's breathing as he tried to keep it under control. 

"You still haven't answered me." Heero knew this tone of voice. It was soft and caring, but all the same demanded an answer. 

The Wing pilot looked down at the floor, bangs shadowing his eyes,

"Nothing happened. I just rubbed it up against something," he stated flatly: a bold lie. But would Trowa fall for it? Would Trowa make him speak of the man who grabbed him roughly in his weakest state? Heero shuddered involuntarily and leaned back into the bed, his energy spent. He nearly jumped when the green-eyed pilot spoke again.

"Alright. I'm done fixing it, but for God's sake, be careful." He paused, "You still want that computer?" Heero nodded silently. Trowa turned and exited the room and before long, he was back with a laptop in his hands. 

"Here," he said, setting it in Heero's lap. "Do what you want."

Instantly, Heero deft fingers began to type, hacking his way through databases of the net. He didn't even notice Trowa leave the room. It was if the mind of the soldier had clicked back on, with only one mission,

'_Must find Silvia Noventa…'_

"Trowa?" Catherine's voice's voice flooded into the trailer. "Trowa, are you there?"

"Yes."

"Oh, there you are. Thanks for helping me pack up the rest of the stuff." Cathy stepped in to find her brother sitting in the living area reading a book. She had changed out of her circus garb and was now wearing a pair of simple blue jeans and a light aquamarine top. Trowa looked up,

"No problem."  The girl suddenly gasped and let her hand fly to her mouth,

"Oh my god! Did you ever find Heero?! I was so busy with the show and all that I-"

"-I found him. He's in the other room," Trowa assured her emotionlessly, then stood. "I guess we should start driving to the transit center. I'll drive first." He walked to the front of the large trailer, got in the driver's seat, and started to drive. The rest of the circus, all packed up and ready, followed soon behind. 

Heero's eyes darkened with fatigue. His eyelids refused to stay open and his vision blurred the words and numbers scrolling down the screen. Not to mention that the steady rumbling of the trailer beneath him had become a mantra of sleep, calling impossibly for his mind to give in and shut down for the night.

_'What's wrong with me?'_ He had been asking this question of himself quite a lot lately. _'I should be able to pull this off through the night… Why is my body so weak?' _Heero blinked hard, clearing the words yet again. The deep and dark pools widened at what they saw. He scanned the words underneath a simple picture of a light blond girl kneeling beside a grave, placing flowers upon it:

_Silvia Noventa, granddaughter of the late Field Marshall Noventa, grieves with her grandmother, Iris Noventa, at the grave of her grandfather, a martyr of peace. It is said that the attack on the pacifists working for peace was…_

That was all he needed to know. The rest was false truth covered up by the press. With a few clicks he had scanned the location, which was somewhere in Eastern Europe, and placed the necessary information on a document. 

'_I found her… Ninmu kanryou…'_ The Perfect Soldier leaned back in the bed and placed one arm at his side, but slowly and painfully brought the injured one up to his face. Heero let out a ragged breath as he clenched his fist and felt intense pain shoot up his arm. No doubt the tendons and bone had been severed and broken, and he would have to wait a while till he could use that arm fully again. 

_'It hurt like hell…'_ He thought with a small, dry laugh. Not of happiness, but of remorse and bitterness towards himself. He, himself, didn't really matter to the mission, but it all depended on his body and determination in fighting the war. The war was all that mattered… Simple soldiers didn't matter.

_'And that is why I will give up my life. My life already belongs to the war and **should** belong in the hands of the ones whom I have wronged. That's right, isn't it?' _

Heero's question was left unanswered as he suddenly drifted into the dream world, slumping forwards onto the laptop. The mask went away, leaving nothing but pure, unguarded innocence in the seemingly young boy whose wisdom surpassed more than just his mere fifteen years. So much for someone so young… It was the life of a soldier… 

Trowa Barton allowed himself a small sigh of boredom as he still sat in the driver's seat. The trailer he and Cathy shared was sitting in the cargo-hold of a shuttle carrier, along with the rest of the circus trailers. He crossed his arms and let his head bow down a bit. Maybe he could get some sleep… No. He was too awake for that. 

Leaving the engine running for the still-sleeping Catherine in the front seat, he hopped out and down off the large trailer. The holding area was rather large, for people with large vehicles, or for the poor who couldn't afford a seat in the public seating area. A pair of children dressed in poor clothing crossed his path to remind him of that fact. 

The green-eyed pilot shoved his hands into his pockets and silently walked away from the trailer's spot. It was rather dark with dim lighting, and the atmosphere was poorly enhanced, but the gravity level, so he could tell that they were in space. Of course there were no windows, for if a fight broke out many would all be sucked out by the vacuum of space. It was so dark…

"I know what you are." Trowa stiffened. The hard, raspy voice was as it was right behind him. He moved to turn around and face the incomer.

"Don't move." A cold gun was pressed to the back of his head. "If you move I'll blow yer head into little bits, got it?" 

"Who are you?" Trowa demanded calmly. His dark, even, green eyes stared straight into the wall before him as he stood still.

The ugly tone of voice changed to laugh hoarsely. 

"I'm an ex-Oz officer… Who else would know that you were a Gundam pilot?" There was silence as Trowa refused to speak. 

"Speak up, kid.  I can't wait all day for you to explain yerself. What are you doing here and how is that ghost of a pilot still alive? How can he still be alive?!… Answer me, boy!" The voice grew angrier when Trowa continued his silence. 

_'He knows about Heero… How?'_

"How do you know?" Trowa asked, keeping his surprise in his mind and careful not to express it in his voice. A laugh sounded again,

"Ah, well… they had me court-marshaled a few months ago. But even then, I was briefed on the legendary Gundam pilots, who had mysteriously gotten through all our defenses. I _know_ that you are two of them… And besides, you didn't deny it or anything." The man paused before speaking again, "And I _know_ your pretty little friend there is Pilot 01. Its obvious."

Through the awkward and dangerous moment, Trowa stood stock-still, staring a hole into the wall. Thoughts raced through his head like racecars on a high-speed motorway. They all were of different concerns, for their cover being blown, his position as of now, and most of all, Heero's safety. Now if only he had brought his gun…  

The part about this man that the pilot of Heavyarms could not tell was what he looked like and exactly where he was from. Indeed, it was the same man from before, the one Heero had lied about. From behind, the jean-clad, powerfully built man held Trowa at gunpoint, demanding him to speak.

"Go get 01. Then we can _chat_." There was an audible noise as the safety of the gun was clicked off. "Do it, dammit! I'm not afraid to shoot you here and now! And even if I did, you would be dead and I would find 01 anyways, only to kill him as well."

_'No. I will not. This pompous windbag of an Ozzie will not order me around.'  _

The answer of silence only edged the slightly crazed older man to the brink. The sound of a gun, muffled by a strong silencer, was heard. Blood dripped down the side of Trowa's shoulder.

"I made the bullet graze you on purpose. That was just a warning… Now, do as you're told, boy."

_          'Dammit… What am I going to do…?'_ Trowa took a deep breath and slowly turned around, wary of the gun now pressing in his face. He looked the dark haired, beady-eyed man in the face calmly, as if it were death in the cockpit of his gundam. It was all the same, one expression that was hardly an expression at all. He and the pilot of Wing Gundam were so much alike… and so different.

          "Now walk," he commanded Trowa. The gundam pilot ignored the throbbing pain in his shoulder and the sticky, wet substance that ran down it. Unnecessary pain that could be tolerated… There were more important things on his mind… He found his legs moving in the direction of the trailer… Wufei was right… _He was weak._

"This yer trailer, clown-boy?" 

          Trowa nodded slowly. He didn't move. He knew Heero was in the small room in the back, and his sister sleeping soundly in the front seat. The two closest people to him were in danger… The pilot tensed his body, ready to jump the ex-Oz and tackle him down. 

          "Don't even think about it." Before he knew it, the pilot of Heavyarms had a burly arm wrapped around his neck and the gun pressed hard to his temple. The man was opening the door and dragging him inside with him.

          The beady eyes took in the place: A small kitchen with a living area connected to two doors. They frowned in confusion as the door slammed behind them,

          "Freeze if you value your life." The voice was not the raspy tone of the officer, or Catherine's feminine one, but the low, emotionless tone of Heero Yuy. 

          The boy-soldier stood in the doorway, holding one of Trowa's guns in his right hand. The Prussian depths ran over the strong man holding Trowa and flickered with odd recognition. Trowa saw it.

          "You know… him?" he asked quietly. The arm tightened around his neck.

          Heero didn't respond. Not that he wanted to anyways.

          "01," the man spat out. "Heh. Found you, eh? Or rather, you've found us… Couldn't resist the chance to save your partner, huh? I didn't think you were that stupid…

          "Hmm… It seems you've gotten better since the last time I saw you. You must be indestructible… surviving through self-destruction like that."

          "Quit your talking," Heero ground out, finger tightening on the trigger. "Let him go."

          It was only then that Heero met Trowa's eyes.  

Author's Note: ACK!!!! BAD place to leave off… But hey, I, the great and powerful writer have decided to end the chapter there. *sniffs* I worked really hard to make it longer than the rest of the chapters, so enjoy it! *puppy eyes* please tell me what you think, because I had major writer's block for a while… I actually couldn't write in this!!! Aiiiiigh!!! Anyways, enough of my ranting… More to come soon, and I hope that you guys don't have to wait as long this time… *laughs nervously* heh… heh…


	7. Silence and the Soldier--- Chapter 7

Title: **Silence and the Soldier**  
Author: Satsuki Kitsune   
Category: yaoi  
Rating: PG-13… for now.   
Pairings: 3+1 (more later, I think.)  
Warnings: the usual… boys with boys…. if you have a _problem_ with that, don't read. *glares*

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing characters and universe are the property of the copyright owners. Plus whatever is mine, is mine (which is little or nothing). I don't make any money….  
Feedback: Any and all comments and feedback is welcome!!!!!!!!! Please!!  
Notes: I feel so bad… I've neglected my poor little fics for so long… *bows* Please forgive me!! Oh, and here's a little fun fact: I always listen to music while I write, and at the moment I am listening to "By Myself" by Linkin Park… *sighs* I LUV that song… 

Thanks to the people who wrote such nice reviews (You know who you are), even though I didn't get that many this time… but hey, I'm not being picky: **Wildfire's Flame **(I am back here… Hopefully to entertain you guys with more of the fic…); **moonbunny317 **(*sighs happily* You like all of them? I'm so happy…); and **Katie** (heh… Major bad luck, but I like it that way.)

Ps. I apologize for errors in grammar/spelling… I didn't have real time to proof-read this that much.

It was only then that Heero met Trowa's eyes. He looked away quickly to fight the internal battle within himself.

          _'I can do this… I can become the soldier once again… The soldier who is not afraid to kill…' _

The Perfect Soldier pulled the trigger and with perfect aim, shot the Officer who had given him way too much trouble in the head. The man fell to the ground, eyes still wide and unblinking, now lifeless. Blood poured from the bullet wound placed exactly between his two eyes.

          _'Another meaningless life to add to my résumé…' _

Trowa jumped to the side before the man, even though he was shot, could shoot him whilst he fell. His eyes grew angry as he gazed upon Heero, who stood there with dead eyes, clutching the smoking gun like it was his only attachment to the real world. He stepped around the dead man and roughly grabbed Heero by the shoulders, trying to shake him awake.

          "Heero? Wake up!" he shouted in the Wing pilot's face. There was no response. The same eyes stared him in the face, but this time they seemed to be searching. Searching for something… Searching for salvation?

          "I did it Trowa. I saved you," came the dull voice, almost relieved. Trowa looked deep into Heero's eyes. The face pleaded for Trowa to be relieved as well. "Aren't you glad that I did it? If I hadn't you would have been…"

          "Heero, you're scaring me. Stop. Everything's fine now."

          "No! No, its not! Its not until _she_ squeezes the trigger!" Heero protested blindly, now struggling against Trowa's grasp. "She's supposed to kill me! That's when it'll be alright!" 

          But Trowa was stronger.

          "Who's "she"?" he asked tonelessly.

          The Prussian eyes slid closed and he grew limp,

          "Silvia Noventa…" 

          Heero slept all that night and most of the next day after that. Catherine had burst into the room moments later and fainted when she took in the sight before her. Obviously the blood, a dead man, and Heero unconscious again had been too much for her. But as a wise one would say, the show must go on. The circus did not cease to travel, and the plane landed in the suburbs of England. It had been pre-decided that the circus was to tour Europe, where the granddaughter of the Marshall Noventa was currently staying.

"Miss Noventa?"

          A young, sweet voice answered the beckon,

          "Yes? Is it time to leave now? I think I have all my bags ready…"

          The guard nodded and proceeded to pick up the light-haired girl's bags and prepared to leave. 

          "We must leave immediately. This city is under direct attack. There's no telling what will happen next, so you must leave the premises," he cautioned.

          Silvia Noventa gave him a look of acknowledgement and sighed, picking up a small handbag. She now seemed to look sad.

          "My stay here has been a pleasant one. Even though taking care of my grandfather's last business has made me sad, I have enjoyed it."

          The two left the room and hurried down the stairs, with the great office building trembling from the battle occurring not too far away. 

          "We must make a break for it from here! I have a car ready for you not far away!" the guard informed her, over the sound of machine-gun rounds being emptied. He ran into the street first, making sure it was safe. Then Silvia followed.

          A large army van screeched around a corner, seeming that it had not intention of halting, and careened towards the young woman. Silvia let out a scream as she realized that it wasn't going to stop and tired to move out of the way.

          The driver recognized the person he was just about to run over and jerked the steering wheel abruptly. The van rolled over with a metal crunch, but amazingly flipped right over upright. He winced in pain as his arm was jolted uncomfortably but all that was forgotten as he leaped out of the vehicle and went to assist the traumatized young girl.

          "W-Who are you?" she stuttered, still shocked from her encounter. 

          The teen lowered his head, partly because of shame and partly because the

          "I am the killer of your grandfather." 

Trowa burst out of the trailer as fast as he could and sprinted off the circus grounds. He could hear Cathy shouting after him, yet again.

          "Where are you going?"

          "Heero's gone again!" he yelled back and vanished into the woods. 

          Climbing into the hidden Heavyarms, he knew that Heero had gone in the exact direction of Silvia Noventa and there was a battle raging within that city. The mech hummed with life as he typed in the password and lifted off the ground.  

          _'Damn you, Heero… Why can't you stay in one place? If you did I could take care of you… But you wouldn't allow that, wouldn't you?'___

Trowa's body was taught with tension and trembled with anticipation. He knew what the Perfect Soldier was going to do: Heero had taken one of his guns with him. 

"You bastard! **Why**?!" Silvia yelled at the teen with all her might. Her arm bent back to spring forward and slap him as hard as she could. The girl stared in amazement as the color of the boy's perfectly tanned skin reddened from the assault, but he did not wince or show any signs of feeling pain.

          "You can do more than hit me, you know… You can equalize your grandfather's death by killing his murderer…" he said quietly. 

          The blonde frowned and stopped to wipe the tears falling freely from her face. She gasped when he removed a loaded and ready gun from the back of his jeans and pointed it at her. Or rather, it would have been pointed at her if it had not been turned around, the handle waiting and beckoning for her hand.

          In the girl's fury, she snatched the gun from him and pointed it at his chest.

          "If you aim a little to the left, one shot could kill me," the assassin-boy said to her.

          Silvia shook, the tears still falling down. Here the murderer of her grandfather was, standing here, offering her a gun to kill him and giving her directions on _how_ to kill him best! What was wrong with this?! She was a pacifist and it was against her beliefs to harm another out of anger… But this was personal.

          "W-What are you and what is your name? I would like to know these things before I k-kill you…" she asked.

            The murderer looked relieved for a moment, then spoke.

          "My code name is Heero Yuy and I am a soldier, nothing more," he explained. "And I implore you, please kill me. You have no idea what a favor you shall do for me."

           The Noventa girl looked down at her feet and the gun faltered.

          "You just want to take the easy way out," she said simply, voice unsteady from emotion.

          "Explain." Heero stared at her with nothing showing on his face. Nothing at all.

          "You are a coward! You must have someone you care about but think of life too hard to go through anymore! You want someone else to kill you so you won't have to do the dirty work yourself and make that person sad!" The pacifist threw the gun down with such anger that it startled Heero. "I won't do it! Even though I hate… I hate you and what you did, but I cannot kill you…" 

           Silvia wrapped her arms around him suddenly and cried into his green tank top. Heero did nothing to stop her, but did nothing to comfort her. He stood, as still as a board while she cried. Only when Silvia felt tiny, wet drops fall onto her did she look up in to the soldier's face. And the strange thing was that _it wasn't raining._

TBC… 

Author's note:  Okay…. What to say now…? Well I'll tell you that this is not turning into a 1xSilvia fic!!! *makes face* NOO!!! Hee-chan belongs with Trowa. And I promise you that this thing is almost DONE! Maybe a few more chapters… Only a few more… *breathes deeply* Okay, I'm done. See you guys next time and please review!


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